Understanding Grief

Multiple Losses

A primary loss coinciding with other significant losses or stressors in your life can make grief and mourning complicated and difficult to a degree that seems impossible to accommodate and recover from. Old age, epidemics, violence, accidents, and coincidence are circumstances that result in the need to accommodate the death of more than one significant individual in our life. Loss of multiple family members, friends, or community can overwhelm our ability to feel and respond to the loss. The amount of change can seem too much to fathom, while the level of pain and disruption feels insurmountable. The number of people who understand us and are available to be supportive may be limited as a result of the multiple losses themselves.

Significant concurrent losses and stressors are not limited to other deaths. Anything that is considered a “marked” change can exacerbate and complicate a grief reaction. Loss of your job, income, or home coinciding with, or as a result of, a death would be compounding stressors. Divorce, family problems, personal problems, demanding responsibilities, poor health, and psychiatric problems are further examples of significant and compounding losses and stressors.

Under the circumstances of multiple significant losses and stressors many people feel the only thing they can do is be numb and get through their day and life. The trouble is that numbness over time can become unending grief, depression, anger, addiction, and other states absent of joy, hope, fulfillment, and meaning.

As stated in prior pages, the death of someone significant to you is enough reason to consider seeking out and utilizing support. The stressors mentioned above, and others not mentioned, are added reason for initiating professional help with accommodating and adjusting to the huge impact and change inherent to these extreme situations. The assistance of a knowledgeable professional, (for example a mental health professional, clergy, physician, or bereavement support organization), can greatly diminish your suffering and risk of harm, and facilitate your healthy progression through this difficult and painful grief.